That word
by Azureoverland
Summary: You never know when it'll happen. It's unpredictable. It's unthinkable. It's... unforgettable. And Castiel is hurt.


**First Supernatural fanfic. **

**Got a couple other rough drafts or practice stuff of Supernatural becuz, WHY THE FUCK NOT, RIGHT? Soooo... Sam is my favorite. Random thing to say. More Destiel here, but nothing like sex or kisses, or like loving or any of that. Not yet, at least. Lil fluff and... stuff...? _;**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

Dean can't imagine the look of his former friend, Castiel, when he appeared like he usually does without warning. It was shocking and unheard of for him to see the normally emotionless, calm, and curious angel look so… frightened.

When he approached him once, Castiel reacted with a forceful "Stay away!" that had a desperate ring to it, blue eyes wide and flashing even if they were showing aggression.

This happened again when Sam touched his shoulder to get his attention, but Castiel nearly threw his blade out with the same look he directed to Dean.

Dean knew there was something wrong. Castiel never acted this way especially with an emotion he never expressed. But Castiel denied it all and vanished without giving the older Winchester a chance to say anything further.

Now the Winchester would think it was nothing because Castiel is partially independent with himself, despite his lack of knowledge on basic human function. He knows how to watch over himself and Dean is glad he does, but he seems to have lost his wall of protection. His vulnerability is visible and he was a wreck from the looks of his clothes and hair, even though his hair is always a cluster.

This was different. And Dean felt scared to know.

A week of silence from the angel wasn't making the weight grow light on the brothers' shoulders, mostly on Dean. And his fidgety moments while in battle with demons was causing Dean to worry even more. The time came when Castiel was struck with a clear slash to his ribs. It wasn't too serious, but Dean still wanted to take care of it, which made the angel even more hostile towards him.

Castiel didn't know how his trench coat or his suit jacket became friends with the floor as Dean fought with him to clean the wound that started to open more and more with his constant pull backs. It was frustrating to the older brother and it only raised his concern for his angel.

A sharp gasp when strong, but gentle hands grab Castiel by the waist and an piercing scream erupts from his mouth, startling Dean to release him and watch in disbelief as the angel falls and scrambles into a dark corner, twitching and whimpering like he had been utterly abused….

Sam came down when he heard the commotion and he, too, was stunned to see the man in the corner. He faced Dean with a questionable look, but Dean shrugs.

It took fifteen minutes to pry Castiel away from the corner and onto the couch where his last attire was removed. The brothers gasp, not by how the bloody slash looked or opened just a little, but by the old, possibly fresh marks littering the pale skin of Castiel's chest and stomach. Ugly bruises, some purple, others downright gross with a mixture of cuts and scars. Most of them are still healing, others seem to linger a bit longer. Castiel jerked violently when Dean's hand roamed over those hideous marks and the hunter flinched from the whimper coming from Cas' mouth. He grabs his hand and gave him a fearful glance and Dean pulls it back, knowing where this will go if he let it linger.

Peaking out just underneath his tussled pants of his hip bones were smudged-like prints, thumbprints, and violet bruises, mixed with a little bit of pink from a previous day of the week. The angel covers them quickly and keeps his head down, flushed and breathing heavy of his discovery.

Dean wanted to question it, but Sam prevents him from doing that and convinces his brother to focus on the gash instead.

After sewing up the wound and cleaning the bruises and cuts that Sam and Dean could find, they pack up the supplies and settle on the couch, hearing the shallow breathing of their fellow angel. Castiel sits up carefully, face white with sweat as he reached for his red soaked shirt. It was gone and he blinked, looking at Dean with a glare.

"Hell no. You are _not_ putting these back on," He grabs the rest of the clothing with ease and goes into the bathroom, throwing them in the tub, "They're going to the laundry tomorrow."

Castiel sighed quietly and fingers the fabric of the couch, "Then what am I supposed to wear?" He grumbled.

He jumped when his vision went black. His hands flew to his covered eyes and ripped off the offending thing and blinks rapidly at the attire: A shirt and some sweats.

Of course….

An hour went by as Sam and Dean get ready for some shut eye. It was late, or in there case, early considering they would go out or stay up to continue their investigations with or without sleep. This was no different, but they decide it was a good time to hold out on their routine and rest a little for tonight.

"Cas, where are you going?" Dean stepped in the small living room of the motel when he saw the man get up from the couch and move closer to the door. Castiel froze and turned slowly with wide eyes, "Just… stepping out… F-for some air."

"You're not going anywhere," Dean said firmly.

"And who gave you the right to say that?" Cas growled.

"No one," Dean approached slowly and stopped just a few feet away, "But I can't have your feathery ass flapping around with a wound like that still healing now, can I?"

"I can take care of myself, Dean. I always have," He bit his lip, "You never seemed too concern about my health until now."

The hunter flinched at Cas' bitter statement. He wasn't hounding on the angel so why was he acting so offensive?

"Yeah, but for tonight I need you to stay here. Please…."

There was a slight open and close of the mouth on Castiel's part, narrowing his eyes as he thought of a way out of this situation. The way Dean spoke is weird when you don't hear it so very often unless you're in deep shit. And Cas was one of those people in that shit.

Cas looks towards the door, breathing heavy. Then at Dean.

"… Just for tonight."

Dean gave a half smile and dragged the angel to their room.

Next day was full of boring shit as Sam and Dean search for any signs of witchery going on in the small city. Cas stood quietly in the corner, but Dean can hear a faint scratching sound and would look over at him to see if he was all right. There were black slits on the floor near the angel and he hesitantly picked one up off the floor with a raised brow.

"Didn't expect to come across a shredding angel, huh?" He chuckles. Sam looks up from his paperwork and he too raised a brow in question. Dean twirls the sleek, black feather, pointed to the tip and no signs of it in bad shape.

"My apologizes… but… I-I am not too thrilled… of this as you are. It doesn't happen too often, thankfully." Cas groans, digging his nails into his shoulder blades.

Dean ushered the angel into the bathroom where he applied enough ointment on his shoulders and back. Cas shivered from the cold and from Dean's strong fingers on his back, but relaxed when the itching fades and those fingers working out the knots on his sensitive back. He grunts when he hit a particular spot the top of his left shoulder blade.

"Sorry."

"It's all right. Very nice…"

Dean convinced Cas to bring his wings out for a little inspection and jumped back when the two appendages appear with a slight flutter before folding themselves against the angel's back, shivering then brushed along his bare skin. Dean carefully pulls the right wing out and winced at it's appearance. There were bald spots close to the base of said wing, some falling out by his feet and others either bent or broken. Castiel quickly informed him they will grow back within the weeks, but gave a mumble of the ones that were damaged and gave the hunter permission to pluck them out. Dean was quick with the disposal of the broken feathers to ease Cas' pain and went to work on smoothing them out, much to the angel's happiness. At least he was semi-happy, for the moment.

Four days later, the Winchesters decided to give it a rest for today and go out to get a small drink. And when they found a bar party, it felt as if this was their lucky day. For Sam and Dean at least.

The first step inside was like home to the brothers, but for Cas, it reeked of sex, alcohol, and money. He was reluctant to stay, but Dean pulled him in and they took their seats. Already the brothers found themselves being pulled in by two young, attractive girls in only their bras and panties. Just like all the others. Cas, however, declined one and just watched as his friends get drawn into a more secluded place. He was left alone. For the moment.

An hour with no sign of Sam and Dean. Castiel can only assume they're having their 'good time' with those prostitutes. While he sat alone with almost the whole hoard of females offering themselves to him, even so far as to give money to persuade him. But all he did was ignore them, which only made them press forward. Finally, he stood and walks towards the, what Dean calls is the 'Powder room'. Though Cas was aware of the Gender who is allowed entry, he wasn't familiar with the difference between the symbols of 'Boy' and 'Girl'. But nobody cares when you're in a bar. It's all about being quick and moving on to the next tray.

Thankfully, he went to the one with no triangle body, watching a few guys take a leak and leave. He moves away to avoid any contact, learning that personal hygiene in here is highly terrible. Not just here though.

He turns on the faucet and, after thoroughly washing his hands, splashed water on his flushed face. He repeated this process for nearly ten minutes before he felt his composure was back and he is ready to face those 'whores' for maybe another hour or so depending on the brothers' love making. He snatched up a few papers, dried his face, and turned off the faucet with those papers, throwing them in the trash.

Fortunately, they seemed to turn their backs on him and he mentally sighed in relief that they have given up on trying to lead him to a room. But when he made his way to his previous table, he saw that it was occupied by couples alike.

Great….

He was pushed around as the people who were wasted danced to the corny music, yelping as a hand groped him and grabbed his thighs. He made to slap the hands away and rushes to the entrance of the bar, only to run into a broad chest.

"Whoa there, cutie," Large hands grabbed a hold of his hips and he froze, "S'this your first time here?" His breath stunk of whisky and cigar and Castiel shivered when his foul breath tickled his ear, lips curling into a grin, "Such a _fine _ass should be taken right, don't cha think?"

Cas can feel his body grow numb. His eyes grew wide, glossy, skin losing all it's color… breathing irregularly.

That's all he could remember before it was lights out.

* * *

There was screaming when Dean stumbles out from the room, clothes ruffled and hair everywhere as he fixed his belt. He swallows and clears his throat before heading out to see what the commotion was about. Then an image of Cas doing/saying something to another prostitute made him roll his eyes and trudge forward just because he can.

No. Cas was on the ground.

….

Wait… _WHAT!_

"Cas!" He shoved the crowd away from the fallen angel's body and his hands went to touch his face. But he stopped, almost thinking before he saw the white dress slightly un-tucked, revealing just a smidge of a pale side where you can barely see the bruise from the night before. Cas _always _has his shirt tucked in. There wasn't a time or place where he ever has it un-tucked. Dean doesn't think Cas even knows how to un-tuck his shirt.

Some filthy son of bitch touched _his _angel.

"Who did this!" Dean roared, startling the crowd to move back when he suddenly stood to meet every single eye. His posture read 'kill', green eyes dark with uncontrollable rage as his fists tremble in need to beat the hell out of this bastard who touched his angel. _His _Castiel!

"Where are you, you son of bitch!" He stood over Cas' body protectively while in search of his attacker, finding none. Well that's just fucking great!

Sam came running in, pants unbuttoned and usually long, smooth hair a total wreck. He gently worked his way through the murmuring crowd to Dean and blinks when his eyes fell on Cas, "What the hell happened?"

"That's what I'm trying to find out!" Dean snapped, crouching back down.

They took Cas out of the bar before they could think otherwise. Heading back to the motel is when the angel decided to wake, feeling intense heat around his face and a pain in the back of his head. He can hear a heartbeat racing madly against his right ear where his head rest, blinking rapidly to see his surroundings and looks up, "Dean?"

"Took you long enough to wake the hell up, Cas." Dean huffed, pulling him painfully close to his chest.

The angel squirmed in his hold and faced Sam, who sat across from them in a chair. There was a very uncomfortable silence on each part but Cas knew where it will lead and Dean was not letting his grip falter.

"Let go." He grunts.

"Tell me happened back at the bar."

"It was nothing. I just got a little lightheaded."

"I don't believe you."

"Why should you?"

"Because…!" Dean bit his lip when he felt the man flinch, lowering his voice again, "Because you've been keeping something from us… from me… Cas."

"Why would I keep something from you? I am telling you nothing happened to me."

"And I know damn well that's not true! Stop lying! You're horrible at it."

Castiel furrows his brows and looks away to face Sam again, giving him a pleading look, "Sam, tell your brother he is overreacting. There is _nothing _wrong with my well-being."

Sam pursed his lips and keeps his hand clasped together as he looks Cas in the eye. He didn't have to say anything for Cas to give him his answer and turns away and stares towards the door.

"I see…. You too have joined your brother on this. Well then…," Cas easily pried out of Dean's arms and said angel shoves him away gently so he would stand, "… I must be going."

You're not going anywhere, Cas!" Dean grabs his arm.

"Take your hand off me." Cas warned.

"Make me." Dean easily took the challenge.

Cas' muscles bulged threateningly and he bared his teeth, eyes flashing dangerously when he turned to face the hunter, "You dare challenge _me_?"

"I always have, Cas. I take the challenge and I _make _them. Not once did I back down from one to either save Sam or you, or to knock some sense into both of you or some god damn demon I hate, which you don't see very often. I have my reasons. I know how things work. But that doesn't mean I know actually how it all ends."

"You know nothing about me-"

"Then tell me more. I'm always listening!"

"You don't!" Cas wrenched his wrist from his grip, "You never understand the full story of my actions when I try to explain them. You don't know… how much I risk to keep you and Sam safe."

"Who's the bastard you're trying to protect us from!?"

"I can't."

"Can't what!? Ask for help? Let us be there for you?"

"I can't do anything about…."

"Cas, what the hell are you talking about?"

"I just can't!"

He was pulled into those green eyes again when Dean took hold of his face, grabbing one of his forearms reflexively, "Dean?"

There was a stony look in his eyes when Cas looked at them, almost concentrated and thumbing the warm skin of said angel's cheekbone.

"I've never heard you like this," Dean said lowly, "You're pale, sweaty, jumpy…. Scared. Something really screwed with you because I know you, Cas. And you're not easy to break."

"Nothing-"

"Bullshit!"

Castiel whimpered, staring down at his feet. This feeling is nothing like he felt before. He was feeling a lot today and these feelings are not pleasant. They caused him pain, mentally and a little physically: Tension in his body, a throbbing in his head and more exhaustion, minus the human sleeping patterns.

And these… images. They were haunting him.

"It hurt, Dean…." He whispered painfully.

"What hurt? Where does it hurt?" Dean asked anxiously.

Cas couldn't place the 'feeling' he felt when Dean asked where it hurt. It didn't sound right, in his mind that is, and it didn't seem right to just point _it _out. The angel bit his lip and his eyes never lift to gaze at the former hunter. Guilt? Is that it?

"Cas," Dean grips the angel's cheekbones firmly, "What. Happened?"

"… I… I don't understand…," He whispers with all honesty and confusion, "I can't express… the feeling…. But…," Something hot and watery races down his cheeks and his throat begins to ache, "… Pain and-and blood… nothing I've… I never…. And burning! Like fire, b-but worse…! Horrible! _IT HURT_!"

Sam yelped when the lamp on the nightstand pops and the two drop as the lights on the ceiling explode from the force of Cas' emotional outburst. Glass rains onto the floor and Dean took a cautious glance up at the angel and gasped when a few wet tears drop onto his face.

"I-I… I can't-… the pain, I can't… never-ending-" Castiel sniffles and hiccups, babbling and choking on his words as he stood with his head down towards Dean.

Sam and Dean were on their feet, still shaken from the screech.

Castiel pursed his lips and gets control of his grace and took a step back, "I'm sorry…."

Dean shakes his head and wraps his arms around the shivering angel, feeling him tense, "It's okay, Cas… no one's gonna hurt you. Wish I knew what happened, but I can only guess…."

"Dean… it hurt," He mumbled into the hunter's shoulder, clutching the fabric on Dean's shoulder blades, "Tearing… and blood. The pain…!" The energy ran wild when Castiel jerked in on himself, tears falling and breath hitched.

"Shh, Cas, I'm here. Everything's going to be all right. M'here, man, it's okay." Surprisingly, the angel settles and Sam blinks at the scene. It may look weird and out of character for Dean to show affection, but nothing matters when someone in his family is hurt. And Castiel is family.

"You know…," Dean started as he guides Castiel over to the bed and they sit, "I haven't done this in _years_. Probably a good time to bring out an ol' friend."

"Wha-Dean!" Castiel yelps and was forced ((gently)) down on his back, "W-wait-No! Please!" He lets out a squeak and bursts out into fresh giggles that startled him, "Dehehehean w-wh-AAH! Stahahahaha!" His hands reach forward and swat at the skilled fingers dancing and curling along his bare sides under his shirt, throwing his head back when one of the fingers traced his navel, "NohohoHOHOHO! DOHOHON'T!" It was a strong electrifying jolt that raced along his skin where the fingers attacked, sending every nerve under his skin into slight convulsion. He squirms and arched his back as he tried to get away, but found his pathetic movements of no use as his body grew heavy and weak, Dehehehehean!"

"There's that smile!" Dean chuckles, dipping his finger in his belly button and snickering at the girlish squeal from his angel, "The 'Tickle Monster' has come again!"

"Hahaha-EEK!-What is thahaAAH!?" Cas managed to gasp before dissolving into wheezing giggles.

Dean stops his assault to allow room for Castiel to breath, "It's a little friend me and Sammy are familiar were. Mainly Sammy."

Sam winced, "Yeah…," He sighs at Cas' puzzled look and continues, "It's not actually real, Cas. It's like a made-up fictional monster that describes a person when they tickle people."

"Tickle?" Castiel cocks his head on the pillow, messing his hair up worse, "What is-GAH!" He jerks at the tweaks to his hips and slaps Dean's chest, "Stop it! I find this… 'tickle' unpleasant."

Dean lets up and smirks, "It's pronouncing 'tickling'. Comes in many different versions and wordings," He draws light, small circles against the sensitive skin and Cas squirms and snickers, "And another way to word it for you is… you're ticklish."

"Ahahaha! I-I what!? Ehehehahaha Dean stop! Enough, plehease!" He snorts.

He rolls onto the side of the bed and crawls towards the angel's head with an affectionate smile, "Didn't mean to over do it, man," He pets Cas on the head, "But you should smile more."

"Smile?"

Sam smirks, "Ahh, Dean likes his widdle angel's smile~"

"Shut it, Bitch…."

Castiel gave a shy smile and nods, "If it makes you feel good then I will arrange certain occasions for it."

There was a deafening silence around them and Dean shifts with a serious look, "Cas?"

"Yes, Dean?"

"You know I want to help you…. And I know it's hard to explain your pain…," The angel bit his lip and nods once, "… But man, you gotta open up about this. No hiding or lies, kay?"

Castiel breathes in deeply and Dean swore when he saw fresh tears slide along his flushed cheeks, "Cas…!?"

"… Dean," Castiel spoke in a hoarse voice. He faced him completely, bright sapphire orbs penetrating into lush emerald ones. His lips part, but no sound was vocalized as they moved. But Dean and Sam didn't need to hear his confession because it was clear as fucking day what Cas was telling them. It was one word. Just one. And Dean dreaded it and nearly lost it when he pulled Castiel into a bear hug, teeth clenched and eyes blazing with uncontrollable emotions.

"_Rape_…."

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**Hope you enjoyed and plz go about your day~ **

_-Azureland_


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